You are responsible for your own experience.

I am writing about all of these subjects like perfectionism, fear of other people's judgments, etc., because I know about them firsthand. I have struggled with all of these fears and more, and have learned (gradually) how to handle each personal challenge that affects my business. I'm not done, either. You're never really done. We all have our own personal journey with this, and it's just a question of  how far we can go before we exit planet earth. And you're not competing with anyone else; it's more like a marathon- you compete with yourself- but in a non-combative way.

And believe it or not, your personal challenges do affect your business, no matter what anyone might say about keeping home and business apart; each bleeds over into the other in some way; particularly personal into business. This is especially true if you work out of your home, but it's true in any business.

If you have any fears, concerns, worries, anguish, disappointment, anger, envy, or any other less than comfortable emotions about anything, it will bleed into your business in some way, I can promise you. You'll overwork, under-work, avoid, battle, get sad, get mad, feel victimized, or experience a plethora of other uncomfortable emotions.

Here's the fabulous thing about all of this- you have an incredible amount of control over what you feel and believe. This also means that you are responsible for your internal experience. Let me repeat that again:

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR INTERNAL EXPERIENCE.

Why does one person see an event as a tragedy and another view it as an opportunity? It's the same event. The only difference is the internal experience of the recipient. No one made one of them sad. No one made the other one glad. Hmm. Kind of puts a damper on the "you make me so angry" thing, doesn't it?

No one can make you angry.

No one can make you happy.

No one can make you sad…

Even though everyone told you so. Every movie, every television show, every conversation you've ever had has been peppered with "you make me…". "It makes me…" since the day you were born. Yet if it was true, then everyone would have the same reaction to the same situations- and clearly, they don't.

You're responsible for your internal experience, because what you believe fuels it. If you believe something is a tragedy,  you will be sad. If you believe it's a great thing, you'll be glad. How many times have you looked back on something that seemed terrible at the time and found how much it helped you become the person you are today? Perhaps we can learn to look at the difficult things as opportunities for growth, rather than tragedy, misfortune, or unfairness, even in the moment that they're happening.

For example, can you imagine if someone was yelling in your face and you saw it as an opportunity for your personal or professional growth, and a chance to help this person or yourself instead of feeling angry or victimized? Can you imagine sitting in traffic and thinking about it as an opportunity to think about your day, relax or zone out, instead of getting angry about not being able to go? Getting sad, angry or feeling victimized isn't wrong. That's not what this is about- it's about having control over how you are in the world and having the power to control your own experience, instead of handing off the control over to everyone else around you.

Perhaps then we could go through our day with quite a different, more empowered outlook on whatever does happen. Just a thought.

Sandra Sinclair

www.coachmarketingsuccess.com